Word count: 1527
Fuck count: 191

As Singaporeans, taking public transport in order to reach our everyday destination is something that is unavoidable.
At the same time, I am also sure that most of you Singaporeans out there have seen fucktards that just cant behave themsleves in public transport. In fact, you see fucktards everyday.
And as much as you want to get in their faces and lecture them, you just cant do so of many of these arsehole are mother fucking gangsters.
So here am I compiling the 7 most irritating senerios that you could possibly face during bus rides.
And hopefully this piece of useless editorial will be able to help you people let of some steam from and educated those fucktards to make our daily rides better.
Lets go!

The 7 fuck yews of public buses.

Fuck yews #1! People that blast their fucking cellphones music in the bus.
This has been becoming quite a fucking trend latetly. I never fail to see fucktards doing this in almost any fucking trip.
And guess what? It's so fucking irritating. By blasting your shitty cellphones music, you are potentially affecting all those that are fucking trying to sleep!
Can you just fucking put youself in their shoes?
In fucking addtion, I am fucking sure those that are awake have totally no fucking interest in what genre or fucking music you like.
May it be rock, rnb, rap, pop, techno, death metal blah blah. We just dont give a fucking shit, and it's just plain fucking irritating.
Next time just remember that whenever you do this fucking shit in bus, you are just acting like a fucking juvenile.
And even when people don't fucking say it, deep inside they just hope they will have the fucking courage to go over and ask you to shut the fuck up.
So don't have a fucking earpiece? Then bear the fucking trip without your fucking music. FUCK YEW.

Fuck yews #2! Assholes that refuse to move to the back when the bus is fucking crampped.
Well, this is a fucking common thing to see during peak hours. Again, you never fail to see bastards like this during bus trips.
Its fucking common sense and knowledge to know when the bus is crammped, get your fucking arse to the back so people can fucking move in!
Why are you fucking standing in the middle and delaying the passangers time? Are you fucking waiting for the bus driver to command you to move back to fucking embarrass yourself?
And I seriously don't give a fuck if your girlfriend/boyfriend is sitting infront and cause your love is so fucking deep, you cant leave her for 10minutes alone in the bus.
Just get your fucking arse to the back of the bus, stop your shitty BGR rubbish and be considerate about other commuters.
Passangers are people that fucking want to reach their destination early, and if you have plenty of fucking free time to spare.
Why don't just grab your partner fuck her in the bushes and spend your time without fucking with other's time. Fuck YEWxorrr!

Fuck yews #3! People with fucking big balls. Literally
Yes, I am talking about people with fucking big balls literally. These fucked up people just cant keep their leg closed together while sitting as if they have two gigantic balls down there.
And when they do this fucking shit, they fucking occupy two spaces like nobody fucking business.
Now, just imagine if everybody were to do this fucking shit, seats will potentially be decreased by fucking half, less people will be able to enjoy the comfort of sitting down and most of all, the bus will be more crampped than ever.
So mr "big balls" in case you are oblivious to this, buses in singapore have commuters crammped like sardines many of times.
In this case, can you fucking please shrink/remove your balls when you are about to take buses so more people will be able to have the comfort of sitting down?
If still refuse to do so after the strong urging, then stop taking public buses and go fuck yourself! Fuck YEW YEW YEW!!

Fuck yews #4! Children that just cant fucking behave in buses.
To be fair, please take note that I am referring to fucking childrens and not baby or toddlers.
And to me more precise, I am talking about those aged 5 and above that clearly have brain thats fucking developed enough to define the meaning of being considerate.
Now, if you happen to be reading this and for whatever fucking reason your school hasn't taught you about how to fucking behave in buses. I will take the initiative to.
Just three fucking simple guidelines to follow here.
1st: Do not talk/laugh or even fucking scream loudly in buses. If you have a point to make to your friend, do it softly. If you dont have any, shut the fucking hell up.
2nd: Do not run around in buses. First of all, you might fucking hurt yourself in the process of this fucking shit and second of all its fucking irritating. It shows nothing but how poorly brought up you are.
3rd: Do not place your fucking bags on empty seats beside you. See, I don't give a shit if your parents are earning million or whatsoever. As the word "public" transport suggest, the bus is for everyone and stop acting like your parents own it.
So kids, just three fucking simple guide lines to follow, and when you do so I am sure your parents will be FUCKing proud of Yew.

Fuck yews #5! People that love to fucking stand infront of door steps.
In any fucking bus trips, they are bound to be some fucking paranoid idiot that magically thinks that if they dont stand right infront of the door they miss their fucking bus stops for sure.
Even at times when the bus is empty like fucking hell, there will be just one or two fucking idiots that refuse to get their ass on a seat/stand by the side and proceed to standing infront of the door steps whenever they board the bus.
And apparently, many of them just dont fucking realise that by doing so, they are blocking the fucking path way of others that wants to alight!
Can some one please fucking enlighten me on whether these people are just plain paranoid about alighting the bus or they just have this fucking werid fetish of standing infront of door steps.
Easily one of the biggest mystery in life that I will never be able to comprehend.
Well whatever it is, I hope that this message will encourage fucking idiots to stop standing infront of door steps and get their fucking arses else where while on the bus.

Fuck yews #6! People that speaks fucking loudly during cellphone conversation.
This is pretty similar to the 1st example that I have given above in terms of causing noise pollution.
And as similar as this point is, I still gonna elaborate it just for the sake of doing so.
Specifically, most of the time people that do this shit are man/woman aged between 40~60.
Apparently many of them just like to fucking whip out their cellphones that they stole from the national heritage museum and converse loudly in buses.
Its as if as they want they entire world to know the latest fucking happenings that occured in their family and how close they were to they winning yesterday night 4D.
I seriously dont know if this is fucking happening just because they are uneducated or there is this weird diseases thats spreading among people above 40 making them lose control of their voice.
But for one thing I am certain about is, this is fucking irritating and it simply shows how uncivilized can some singaporeans be.
So if you know that you can control the volume of your voice, either learn how to SMS or just STFU. Fuck you for your cooperation!

Fuck yews #7! People that fucking spits in bus.
No jokes, personally I have seen people that actually spits on the bus.
It's gross, it's digusting, it fucking pollutes the air and oblivious people will have to face the dangers of fucking stepping on them.
I don't know what the fuck is wrong with the people now a days but WTF. How can anyone fucking spit on buses and still think that its something perfectly fine to do.
Can't they just hold your the fucking unimaginable in your mouth and spit it after alighting the bus. I am sure that rubbish bins are planted beside most of the bus stops in Singapore.
So please fully ultilise the fucking rubbish bins and ... just dont fucking spit on buses. Oh god, its just amazing to think that people have to be told about fucking things like that.
I am no PAP supporter but still, its no suprise that SM Goh says singaporeans are not gracious. For that I agree.

Thats the end of my 7 fuck yews. I hope you guys enjoyed and agree with that shit. FUCK YEW!

Please take note - All profanities are used in the form of adjective.

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Highly inspired by this video.

I don't think these things are limited to just Singapore... people are stupid. :(
» ikimashokie on 2008-02-25 02:01:41

Yea, its a shame people are reatards and they don't know how to have basic manners for people
» CPKviperpheonix on 2008-02-25 03:35:52

CHILL
It's one thing to say fuck as much as that guy did, but it's another to make someone read it as much as your typed it. Think you can keep it down to, like, one every two sentences?

I hate noise pollution and agree with most of these points.

But this is text pollution, if you catch my drift. You've got nothing to say to these people if they can't even understand what you're saying.

A Yew is an actual tree, and I thought you were posting something about people humping Yew trees on a train. So. Don't.
» middaymoon on 2008-02-25 07:46:36

middaymoon.

I am actually saying most of this stuff in jest.
Despite the overwhelming amount of vulgar words, I am actually trying to be offensive to anyone or anything.

And yew is said in jest too. Either way, thanks for telling me that yew is a tree.
» L-Lawliet on 2008-02-26 04:50:24

HAHAHAHA
I love the one about the balls. Those kind of guys are so gross! I always think that, too, like, "Are your balls seriously so large that you cannot close your legs, or do you simply lack the required muscles to close them?" That is, the so-called 'no' muscles. heh.
» Zanzibar on 2008-03-01 11:53:25

agreed on all points.. esp the pple whu have huge balls. seriously. geez.
» merrick on 2008-03-03 07:28:10

If you ever come back and look here, I responded! And on your page, too!
Yeah, um, that's the thing. This is an awesome list in most ways. It's just when you read the same word/phrase a ton, you know how it gets annoying? That's what bugged me.

And about the yew thing...I dunno, I thought it was more obnoxious than funny. I keep imagining the way my brother says "Fuck you", except he says it like "FUCK, Yeeeeeew" and it makes me want to throw a brick at him.

Yeah, I totally over reacted there. My bad...
» middaymoon on 2008-03-04 11:14:57

Middaymoon

Its all good.
I hope i didt sound too aggressive as well =D
Oh and the "Yew" was there to make this entire post sound more err corny. =P
Same goes to the overwhelming amount of F words.
» L-Lawliet on 2008-03-05 08:16:58

That was really hard to read.
» Dilated on 2008-03-05 08:38:19

LOl
eh... sitting on the outer seats refusing to move in closer to the windows?? even when the bus is crampped like hell.
» vindicated (220.255.7.212) on 2008-04-03 10:45:57

LOL
write something bout that! LOL!
» vindicated (220.255.7.216) on 2008-04-03 10:46:38

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